You tell that evil son of ours that a person who suffers from two fucking medical conditions of which the symptoms include suicidal compulsion isn't being manipulative if while he is being a fucking chauvinist bully like his grandfather they say they're going to or feel like killing themselves. You all abandoned me FOR BEING SUICIDAL. YOU FUCKING UTTER CUNTS. YOU LEFT ME TO DIE. Jake says he knows I have mental illness yet he jumps on the cripple. TELL HIM TO STOP ACTING LIKE HE GIVES A FUCK IF I DIE. THE LYING LITTLE BOLLOX. ALL HE IS WORRIED ABOUT IS HOW HE WILL FEEl. DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK HOW I HAVE HAD TO FEEL SINCE YOU ALL FUCKED OFF ON ME AND MY SON. Every one of you had better pray I die. Because I'm suing the fucking lot of you for what you've done to me if I manage to live through it.
Dad, you did this to my mother. You got away with it. I'm stronger than her. You won't get away with it this time. By hook or by Fucking crook.
JOHN, Jake's done to Shane what you did to him. You total BOLLOX for doing it by the way, and sending me the bills for twenty fucking grand every three months. And everyone thinks you're such the Angel. It being the case that woman is indeed the nigger of the world. I never had a penny to help from any father of my children. If you and my father had got what you pushed for, Jake wouldn't even fucking be alive. Only I fought because he was my baby and I LOVED HIM, CHILD AS I WAS MYSELF. You and my father dropped me off at the hospital to get rid of him, fuck sake. How many abortions have you forced women successfully to have John? Have you counted? I stopped counting about Sixteen years ago.
Jake, take custody of Shane. Apologies to him for using him to punish your mother. I will send you money. Make sure he gets therapy and medication if he needs it. None of you will ever see me again because of what you've done. If I manage not to kill myself, you'll be paying the medical costs which have been and will continue to be involved with that, since you were and remain. the chief co-ordinator of my total psychological and emotional destruction. And I will still never return to you or any of my four children, because of you. So fucking live with that. Explain to Shane and Yeshua why Mum vanished. You unchristian, ungrateful, lying, criminal. YOu murdered your mother one way or the other. You drove her from her life so she had to run to another continent just to stay alive. You made her leave her babies and then you left them. YOU are the one who needs a fucking psychiatrist. All of you.
I will see you all in court. I want damages. I have been unable to work. I have lost last year's income and this year's. I have had enormous medical expenses, and enormous trauma because of your torturing of me. As I said. You fucking best pray God kills me because unlike my poor mother, I will not let this drop. We are all going to court and we are gonna have this out in full public for once and for all. Dad, you don't get to be the revisionist. I know you hid the custody judgement by the way. Involving my mother and you. You had it buried. Well that's all you're going to bury apart from my mother. And may God forgive you for crying over her body saying you were sorry.
Sinead Marie-Bernarde Aoibheann O'Connor